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New Bloom!

 

WE HAVE ALL BEEN THE "OTHERS"

 

Reflections of a First-Generation’s Daughter on Belonging, Democracy, and a New American Dream


by Patricia J. Marino

 

The lessons that former history teacher Patricia J. Marino learned from her Sicilian-American father, Detective Alexander Francis Marino, are universal and applicable to our current American landscape: “Laws don’t always equal right,” “Call out hypocrisy,” and “Keep your commitments,” among others.

 

In this unique memoir-through-a-larger-American-historical-lens, with relatable appeal to anyone whose family came to America from elsewhere (i.e., almost all of us), the author takes a loving yet clear-eyed look at what we’re doing wrong in light of the original promise of the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution, and how we can set things right so as to—in the words of Langston Hughes—“let America be America again.”

Includes an invitation to readers to participate in “revisioning a new America.”

 

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BONUS: Did you know we have Flower Essence Remedies to go with this book,

to support and integrate what you receive from We Have All Been the "Others"?

There's AGRIMONY for communicating openly, ASPEN for feeling secure and peaceful,

CRAB APPLE for accepting imperfections in yourself and others, and additional positive-outcomes essences.

Click here to find out more.

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Readers Rave about We Have All Been the "Others"

“Once in a great while, there comes a book that speaks accessibly, powerfully, and humanely to a crucial issue of the time. We Have All Been the ‘Others’ is that book for our time. 

     "A relatable memoir that vividly recounts what it was like to grow up as an Italian immigrant family in Chicago and a compelling, clear-eyed reflection on racial division in America, this book both holds up a mirror to what is unlovely and hateful in our common history, and helps us simultaneously to see and fashion a redemptive path.  Deeply researched, laced with humor, propelled by winsome narrative, this daughter’s nuanced tribute to her larger-than-life father compels us to remember the commonalities, both good and bad, that bind us as families, communities, and citizens. And at a time when our country appears relentlessly polarized.

     "We Have All Been the ‘Others’ regenerates hope and offers practical pathways for empathetic living in a diverse world.”

—Glynda A. Hull, Elizabeth H. and Eugene A. Shurtleff Chair; Faculty Director, Undergraduate Studies, and Center for Teaching and Learning School of Education, University of California, Berkeley

“A timely, warm-hearted book rehabilitating the image of immigrants, often disparaged in America and other countries. Marino, a second-generation Italian-American and a history buff, pays tribute to her first-generation father, a son of immigrants, enumerating his many valuable life lessons that nurtured her concern for fairness and equal access to the American Dream for everyone. The book is sprinkled with essential historical information and ideas for creating a more just America; as well as vivid, loving stories of Marino's large Italian-American family, some of them immigrants, and their important contributions to this country.”

 

—Ralph Dranow, editor and poet; author, A New Life; co-author with Daniel Marlin, At Work on the Garments of Refuge

“Poignant, thought-provoking, and delightful!”

—Valerie Miles, DMin, PhD; Professor, Ministerial Leadership & Practical Theology, Graduate Theological Union; Core Doctoral Faculty, Religion & Practice Department, Theology & Ethics Department

“Wow! Loved this book. Once I started reading, I was so caught up in the narrative that I just read for pure pleasure.

     "Pat did a fabulous job weaving family history within the context of US history and I think this fundamental ‘merger’ makes this book unique. A small, compact book, stuffed with so much information and warm memories that we can all share in the author’s love of family. I found the book inspirational and heart-warming, plus the education, and so deserving of widespread distribution.”

 

—Ann Curran, Writer, Editor

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BONUS GIFT
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Bring your family story

and solutions

into

the conversation

To see an interview with the author, click here

ABOUT THE BOOK

 

We Have All Been the "Others" starts out

with the author's personal reminiscences

family portraits like those any of us might have:

"I was surrounded by characters, every single one of whom I still remember and love. These were the first “builders” of my character, of the person whom I have become. Each had their unique character, their own way of approaching life. I always carry with me the lessons I learned from them."

 

11. Mom and Dad, probably 1960s.jpg

Mom and Dad, probably 1960s

18. Uncle Vito in the Field Contemplating Planting - early !950s.jpg

Uncle Vito

in

the fields,

contemplating planting

But then it opens up to an incisive exploration of the larger lessons learned within the family

about what it means to be a hyphenated-American—both the ideal and how it has played out in reality;

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"But most especially, I carry the life lessons from my Dad, Alexander Francis Marino.   Looking back, it was my Dad’s lessons that I have taken with me on my own journey."

Lesson #1: Laws do not equal right.

Lesson #2: Call out hypocrisy.

Lesson #3: Beware of the mob mentality of fascism.

Lesson #4: Strive to learn toughness through adversity.

Lesson #5: Keep your commitments.

Lesson #6: Bring fairness to the problem.

Lesson #7: See the human in the stereotype.

Lesson #8: Love as the yeast for growth.

Lesson #9: Remember that the other was once you.

Lesson #10: Speak truth to power.

Lesson #11: Face your fears and your truth.

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Most of the lessons Pat learned that are shared in this book came from her father Alex, a Chicago police detective. But some also came from her mother Ann Bublis, a Lithuanian-American. 

The "Green Stamp caper," involving parish nuns who were not allowed to drive, was one such lesson:

Early on [the author writes], I saw the disparity between priests and nuns.  As an 11-year-old, I always thought it was strange that the four priests who inhabited the rectory could keep their own names, that they had the first color TVs, that one had a boat (he taught us all how to water ski on Illinois and Wisconsin lakes), and that they all had a housekeeper and a cook. The priests could also dress in normal street clothes when they felt like it and were somewhat “off duty.” Perhaps only five hundred yards away stood the convent, whose religious women were all dressed in habits, who could not use their own names (only saints, please!). They were crowded into monastic-like tiny rooms with almost no furniture, just the basics.  At the height of the Catholic education era in the 1950s and 1960s, I believe there were 24 nuns at my parish in a relatively small square footage of the convent. 

 

And the kicker was that they were not allowed to drive, according to Monsignor H. This meant that the women of the parish (like my mother) had to serve as chauffeurs to the nuns, who needed to run their errands—whether food shopping, getting supplies for the schools they ran, or whatever was the necessity. This put an enormous burden on many of these women, who had their own children and husbands to take care of. Dealing with 24 nuns and their needs presented additional work that these women did not need.

A group of women—I think Ann was the ringleader—had just about had enough of this idiocy.  They marched over to Monsignor H.’s office to discuss the issue of teaching the nuns to drive, no mere undertaking at that.  Monsignor H. was aghast that anyone would think of such an idea and, being such an “open-minded” person, adamantly stated that nuns could not drive.  To which Ann responded, “You tell me where in the Bible” (she wouldn’t have used the word dogma!) “it says that nuns can’t drive.  Why, cars weren’t invented until this century!”  Monsignor H., in his usual condescending way, was outraged that anyone, least of all a group of women, would challenge his authority.  He thought that they would never even be able to teach the nuns to drive; after all, women teaching other women to drive was a really bad idea, in his mind, even though they had done a great job of it during World War II. Where would they even find the money to buy a car? But they pressed their case, and eventually Monsignor H. relented and told them it was up to them.

These women proceeded to target the right kind of car first, to be followed by how to pay for it.  They focused on a large station wagon, probably a Ford or a Chevy—roomy enough to transport at least six nuns at a time to do their errands.  And then, being good, experienced, and effective fundraisers, they came up with the idea of paying for the station wagon with Green Stamps. . . .

After a warm yet clear-eyed examination of how we have dropped the ball on the American Dream, 

in Chapter 9, "Fragments to Fulfillment (or Who Gets to Have Access to Rights?"

the author offers suggestions on repairing and revisioning this dream.

And in Chapter 11, "Reflections on Adding Your Pieces to the American Mosaic,"

she invites her readers you to do the same:

"Thank you, Readers, for taking this journey with me through my own family, my past, to better understand these times we are in and how my family’s history relates to the bigger picture of the American Dream.  But my story is just one of hundreds of thousands over the centuries. 

 

"Rather than only revisiting my neighborhood, my place in time, I think it is important to hear your stories, your reflections, your suggestions—for a stronger, more vibrant economy; for an engaged, supported, and contributing middle and working class; for the potential to solve some of our most urgent problems; for how we engage as global citizens. I learned a lot from my Dad, my Mother, and the rest of my family.  Perhaps you have lessons learned from your own family that you might want to share—lessons that would fire our imagination and creativity, that would provide insights into how we can go about making this a fairer, more just American community.

 

"I am interested, as well, in your feelings about how we could build a more Beloved Community in your own neighborhood, among your own friends and family.  It seems to me that over time we have become too separated, too much in our own worlds.  Many of the suggestions I made in Chapter 9 involved actions that the government could take.  Equally important, however, is how we as individuals can take actions in our own communities to improve the lives for all who live there—not just in formal ways, but also in everyday informal ways.  How do we bring everyone into the conversation, even those who are on the extremes? 
 

"The great experiment that is America is the willingness to open doors to humanity in all its shapes and sizes, colors and genders, and the trust that from many comes one: E Pluribus Unum (as is inscribed on most denominations of U.S. currency).  It’s a remarkable theory, considering that so much of human history has been about fighting to keep people out, to have one group rule over the rest, to concentrate power and money in the hands of a few.  The American Dream is truly mind-bending, when you really think about it.  But reality hasn’t always matched the myth. 

"Truth and facts are a good place to start. So here are some questions to get your reflections and suggestions going. . . .

  • Given your family’s history, struggles, achievements, and aspirations, what might a re-envisioned, re-thought American Dream might look like?

  • Who is missing from the potential of the Dream?

  • What would a re-imagined Dream look like to you?"

JOIN IN ON A NEW AMERICAN DREAM!

READ

We Have All Been "the Others"

Reflections of a First-Generation’s Daughter on Belonging, Democracy, and a New American Dream

by Patricia J. Marino

 

THEN ADD YOUR PIECE TO THE MOSAIC.

(The book will tell you how.)

PRINT / $23.95 + shipping    

Trade paperback, 226 pages

BUY

THE

BOOK

E-BOOK / $6.99  

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

FOR BULK SALES:
Email  rosepressbooks@yahoo.com
and let us know how many books
you want us to order for you.

_______________________________________________________

 

BONUS:

Did you know we have Flower Essence Remedies to go with this book,

to support and integrate

what you receive from We Have All Been the "Others"

There's AGRIMONY for communicating openly, ASPEN for feeling secure and peaceful, CRAB APPLE for accepting imperfections in yourself and others, and additional  positive-outcomes essences.

Click here to find out more.

xxxx

About the Author

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Pat Marino began her career as a high school history/ESL teacher in Chicago and San Francisco, and her passion for history has always informed her perspective on her philanthropical endeavors, whether working with communities of color, or in education and youth development. She looks to history for guidance in understanding where we as a global community are in the growth of humanity, where we are headed, and what can we do differently to enable the next generation to improve the planet for all living beings. Her current profession is as a philanthropic consultant, who brings more than 30 years of knowledge and experience in grantmaking and development to help funders and nonprofits achieve their charitable and organizational goals. 

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We Have All Been the "Others" is part of the Rose Press Healing the World from the Inside Out series.

When we look out at the world, often we see and react to its limitations, sufferings, and oppressions. And yet the outer conditions can be manifestations of internal human conditions, played out on a larger societal scale. So the outer world affects the inner world, and the inner the outer. Yet when we are not conscious of this connection, we under-credit the influence that our own personal healing can have on the larger world. The books in this series seek to illuminate the connection between the inner and outer life and show us a way towards wholeness. Out of this, we may awaken, bring more compassionate awareness to our actions, and become a genuinely healing presence in the world.

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The books put out by Rose Press are meant to last and last and last.

 

Unlike many books that are published to make a temporary splash and then fade out into dim memory or total forgetfulness, Rose Press books are meant to live in your heart and in your life.

 

So not only do they remain on your bookshelf (or your hard drive, portable reading device, etc):  they also remain inside you, part of the impressions that make up your inner being. And sometimes ~ much like a sudden affectionate thought about an old friend with whom you’ve been out of contact ~ the desire will come to pick up and read these books again and make their acquaintance (and your own) again  from the place where you are now.

Some of these books are already perennials: issued and reissued to encounter new readers and re-visit old ones. Others are brand new and just putting down roots, to return to readers’ attentions in their own passing seasons.

 

Books that go deep take time to write, so quality may win out over quantity, here. We hope you will content yourself with the current varieties in this “garden,” and look forward to new blooms to come.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Deep reads for deepening readers.

Rose Press books. A publishing house for your inner garden.

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